i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
