I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
