u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
