In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
