Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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