just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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