Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
