i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
