I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
