the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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