5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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