Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've blown a few things in my day
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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