i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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