My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
