Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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