so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
