I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
