found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
did you just send me my own nude
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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