We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
