AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
