that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
