well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
