you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
