i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
