Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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