They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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