The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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