It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
