I don't think brook has ever known best
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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