There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
