My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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