If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
