Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
