i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
