I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
