I feel like I'm in dance class right now
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
