so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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