Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
