i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
