I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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