i think my tv is drunk
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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