Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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