i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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