i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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