we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
