if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
