so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
