yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
