The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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