Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
