Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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