chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
