i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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